I thought my Dad had another 20 years. Muscular and active until his 70s, with a mother who was still polka dancing well into her 90s. But the tumor in his pancreas that blocked his stomach and put pressure on his diaphragm, causing him to die of starvation while hiccupping nonstop, didn’t care. A rough way to go. He spent every day of his life helping others as a satellite engineer and karate instructor, always tinkering and learning and keeping his body moving. He always wanted ‘a list’ of things for him to do to help. My Dad is the reason for my passion for computers and engineering. I love understanding how hardware and software work and even while not employed by a ‘company’, I still immerse myself in the technological world every day. Thank you Dad for the early computer running DOS and supporting my journey every step of the way. For inspiring in me a desire to understand the technical world and love the work I do. After losing my Dad I made the difficult decision to take a break. To put a pause on work promotions, OKR’s and Slack pings. It was a burn out that came fast and sudden, and gave me no other choice but to take a step back and reflect. To re-learn my ‘why’ and also how I would function in this new reality without my main motivator and cheerleader in life. I’m so grateful he had such a massive impact on my life to feel such an intense loss. Grief never really goes away but starts to get quieter after some time. And now is the time to grow into my new ‘why’.